So on this morning, when everything was finally going to turn real,
when we were going to strap on our packs and get real dirt on our feet I was…
stressed. I was overcome by that
neurotic everything-has-to-happen-just-so kind of stress that I remember
observing (with an uncomfortable blend of pity and disgust) in fathers when I
was a kid. I’d seen it rear its head as shouting
and cussing when fathers and sons attempted to attach motorboats to trailers at
the reservoir, or as honking and throwing coffee cups on the first morning of
family vacation when the neighbor’s car was packed, the engine running, and
little Lucy was still in the shower and Junior needed to poop. “We should be in Albuquerque by now!”
Only now, I wasn’t a kid watching some grown man throw his little I-want-to-be-in-control-but-I’m-not
hissy fit. I was that grown man. “We have to get to the dining hall when it
opens at 7 o’clock. We can’t be late! This is a big day and we’ve got to catch an
early shuttle to the trailhead and get started.
It’s going to get hot… And don’t
you know there are real bears out there, and it’s my job to protect us, so just
shut up and do what I say. Put your
boots on! Eat some more eggs! You’ll be starving soon.”
We were having fun.
It really is a blessing that I married a woman who only puts up with so
much of such manly behavior, and she finally gave me that look—the one that
says, “If you don’t stop acting like a two-year-old, then you’re going to lose
even more control, big guy. Just try me.”
I shut up, got myself a second cup of coffee, and tried to sip it
slowly, my leg bouncing like part of an overactive sewing machine.
To be honest, my stress really surprised me. I was just so excited. I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted it all to happen just the right way,
so that every moment would be a magical experience for the whole family. I wanted them to see how amazing it all was. I wanted it to be like the best kind of
Disney movie… I wanted all that so badly
that I was being a complete jerk, which is what dads do sometimes.
When we’d finally lugged our packs to the shuttle stop at Curry
Village, bound for the trailhead at Happy Isles, I felt myself relax a
bit. We were almost there. Sure it was after 9:00, but we were doing
it. This thing was really going to
happen.
Then my son Noah turned to me with wide eyes and a look of panic on his
face. “I need my book. The Jack London book Grammy and Papa got for
my birthday. It’s in the car.”
I felt my skin heat up. I felt
the extra coffee in my belly simmer. But
I managed to smile. “I’ll go get
it.” This was my family. I’d asked them to join me on this big
adventure, and somehow they’d all agreed.
They were excited about it! I
wanted them to stay excited. So what if
we didn’t get to camp until midnight.
I’d imagined the moment my kids would first witness Yosemite Valley—the
views so gargantuan and prehistoric that their eyes would hardly be able to
digest it all. I remembered the first
time I drove into the Park, turning a corner on the winding road and seeing El
Capitan rise up in front of me like some colossal petrified dinosaur. I cussed with pure excitement and nearly drove
off the road.
But it hadn’t been like that this time.
Fires burned in the Sierras, and the valley was so thick with smoke you
couldn’t see across it. The kids
scrunched up their faces against the stench.
Kai’s asthma harassed his breathing.
And that’s how we started our grand adventure, squinting to see through
smoke, walking slowly behind our seven-year-old
son as he struggled to get enough unhealthy air to climb out of the haze-choked
valley… So far the Disney movie of my
dreams was a bit of a flop. I looked
around as we struggled up the 2,000 foot climb from Happy Isles to Nevada Fall,
hoping to spot a few dwarves, a singing warthog with his lion friend, maybe
even a mermaid. Come on! This was our big moment. Somebody throw me a bone!
That first day of hiking was a struggle. I can’t sugar coat it. It was hard to breathe. The smoke stung our eyes. I was worried that the whole dream might fall
apart before we even made it past Half Dome.
Don’t get me wrong. Pam and the
kids were troopers. Kai complained some,
but he pushed through it. It was hard to
see and hard to breathe… and that trail was steep!
Finally, we reached the top of Nevada Fall, the Merced River throwing
itself suicidally over a granite cliff into the valley’s murky haze. The air was a little better up here, not
great but better. We dropped our packs
upstream a few hundred yards, took off our boots, laid our socks on a rock and
walked to the edge of an emerald-colored pool.
The water felt perfect. It was
the most perfect thing we’d experienced all day, and within seconds the kids
were up to their waists, letting it soak into them.
I sat on a rock with my feet in the water and watched the boys. Something about being in that water changed
them. Their bodies looked more energized
than they had all day. They smiled. They played.
I smiled too. I soaked my feet
and looked up at the gray sky, the sun reaching through and warming my skin a
little. I glanced over at Pam, and she
looked happy enough, soaking her feet in the water too. And for the first time all day I though this
whole crazy adventure could still work.
This was okay. We could still do
this thing.
We let the kids play for a long time while I filtered water then
relaxed with Pam on flat slabs of granite by the river’s edge, and when we
finally strapped our packs back on to push the last mile towards Little
Yosemite Valley, the kids seemed rejuvenated, happier.
The backpacker camp at Little Yosemite Valley was crowded, but we’d
expected that, knowing the crowds would thin to a trickle as we put miles
behind us. We set up our tent, and then
the boys and I found another great swimming hole on the Merced River, where we
played and washed ash and trail dust from our skin. As evening set in we ate dinner, sitting on
fallen logs, topping it all off with a few squares of chocolate.
I’m embarrassed to say that as the sun set my stress level once again
rose a little bit. The ranger issuing
our backcountry permit had gone on at some length about the abnormally large
number of bear incidents that had occurred in the Park that summer. We’d managed to choke our way through our
first day on the trail, and the last thing I needed was some deranged teddy
tearing his way into our tent to rip a Jolly Rancher wrapper out of my kid’s
pocket… so I was a little anal again until everything that smelled like
anything was secured safely within our bear canisters.
Inside the tent, I read the first chapter of The Hobbit to Kai and Noah.
It seemed like a good trail book for the boys. They were setting off from their suburban
lives into the Sierra Nevada wilderness, while Bilbo was leaving Bag End and
heading towards Mirkwood and the Misty Mountains. As I fell asleep, I found my head filled with
song lyrics from the old cartoon version of The
Hobbit. “The greatest adventure is
what lies ahead.”
I hoped it was true.
Read the full series by clicking on the links below:
Day 1 – Day2 – Day 3 – Day 4 – Day 5 – Day 6 – Day 7 – Day 8 – Day 9 – Day 10 – Day 11 – Day 12 – Day 13 – Day 14 – Day 15 – Day 16 – Day 17 – Day 18 – Day 19 – Day 20 – Day 21 – Day 22 – Day 23 – Day 24 – Day 25 – Day 26 – Day 27 – Day 28 – Day 29 – Day 30 – Day 31 – Day 32 – Day 33 – Day 34
Day 1 – Day2 – Day 3 – Day 4 – Day 5 – Day 6 – Day 7 – Day 8 – Day 9 – Day 10 – Day 11 – Day 12 – Day 13 – Day 14 – Day 15 – Day 16 – Day 17 – Day 18 – Day 19 – Day 20 – Day 21 – Day 22 – Day 23 – Day 24 – Day 25 – Day 26 – Day 27 – Day 28 – Day 29 – Day 30 – Day 31 – Day 32 – Day 33 – Day 34
J.S. Kapchinske is the author of Coyote Summer.
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